flake

flake: (n) an unreliable person; someone who agrees to do something, but never follows through

Like me.
I wrote over a month ago that I would be back in a week and completely flaked out. Sure I have excuses, want to hear them? Of course you don't! But I am going to tell them to you anyway. Final exams, final review, 2 college graduations, moved home, started work, 3 day architecture conference, cousin's baptism, a visit from Andrew, Andrew's sister's graduation, another cousin's open house. There, aren't you glad you know how busy I was? No. Truth is, you were probably more busy than I was. Do you understand why I have not written? Sure, I have excuses. Does it change he fact that I told you I would write and I didn't? Absolutely not.

Yesterday I spent the day at the beach with my mom. We are having record high temperatures this week, all I want is to be near the water. Ideally when I go to the beach I like to swim and sun bathe ALL day. Circumstances yesterday were different however and we left the beach after only 4 hours of sun. I was not too reluctant to leave. It just so happened to be the day of the Great Lakes Kite Festival, which is now my new least favorite day of the year. I love everything about the beach, EXCEPT for kites. Mini hang gliders with sharp pointed noses attached to a string placed into the hands of a 7-year-old who pulls and twists the kite causing it to whip and zip through the air. I flinch every time I hear that buzzing sound as the kite dive bombs out of the sky and crashes into the sand. I wonder how many people are injured by kites each year?

I had made other water related plans for when I returned home. "Just come on over," he said. I always call first. One time I did just come on over, different guy, but the result was a super awkward, non-fun day, and a waste of gas. So I called and plans got pushed back for dinner, not a problem. I ate dinner with my mom and waited for another call... nothing. 3 and a half hours later I got a text, "sorry, it's late now, maybe next time." I thought to myself, "that's not like him." Then I remembered that this very thing had happened before.

We've all been there, on both sides of the coin. Every one of us has flaked out on someone. A friend, a family member, a co-worker. And we've all felt the pain and frustration of being flaked out on. It leaves us with a very empty feeling inside. The hope and anticipation of spending time with someone, or doing something you couldn't wait to do, or receiving a favor... and then nothing. NOTHING. Emotion, excitement, build up, and suddenly the rug is pulled out from under you.

A significant person in your life decides to skip out on celebrating your big day, whatever that day may be. Money's tight, work is busy, something came up, they'll make it up later. You understand, right?
An old friend apologizes for being so absent in your life and promises to change, to spend time with you, to return your calls. A year later they deliver the same apology. They got caught up in their own life, this time they mean it though, promise.
A family member agrees to help you with a project. They forget, they're too busy, they forgot supplies, we'll do it tomorrow, there's too much else going on. You'll just have to understand and be patient.

But does the excuse really matter? Does it change the fact that the special someone in your life took away some of the special from your day? Does it make you feel less disappointed? Does it change the fact that your friendship has yet to rekindle? Does it make you trust their apology? Does it change the fact that you cannot depend on the word of your kin? Does it change the fact that you were depending on them to come through? Does it change the fact that you waited around hoping because you had faith in someone, only to be flaked out on?

So why are these people still a part of our lives? Shouldn't we end things with people who make us feel this way, with people who we can't depend on? We've all been flaked out on by the same people over and again, so why not cut ties?

Ever wonder what God must feel like? How many promises do we make to God that we cannot possibly keep? When we flake out on God, He feels the same pain that you and I feel when someone flakes out on us. He even knows that we will flake out on Him before we do it, but God never cuts ties with us. Instead, He gives us grace. Why? Because for some crazy reason, God loves all of us flakes unconditionally.

Love the flakes unconditionally and grant them your grace.